jonezy's posterous

I can't help

But feel like I'm missing something, it's right there in front of my face, staring at me, screaming; begging for attention. 

I know this feeling, I've felt it before, I've been here before.

I can't help but wonder what I'm missing that's going on right in front of me.

you ever get the feeling that you missed out on something?

I do, I feel that way about a lot of things, but at the same time by missing out on some stuff I experienced things that most people will never get to experience in there life.

so much to say

but i'm just not sure who to say it to.

Today

Wake up, feed dog, walk dog, make coffee, drink coffee, internet, make breakfast once, make it again, dishes, dress kids, make lunch, dishes, go to dollar store, go to vegetable market, go to bakery, home, make snacks, internet, make dinner, no dishes (yay!), give baths. Sit.

most, if not all

of the bad things that have happened to me in my life were directly related to my own inaction or inability to speak up and stand up for myself.  

I'm sure this is true for most people in the world.

I miss them

Every minute of every day, and no matter how hard I try I can't not miss them.

Every minute, of every day.

Real Pain

Real pain isn't obvious, not in front of your face. Its dull and aching, its lonely and elusive.

Real pain is loneliness, and all that comes with it.

In no order of importance, and by no means a complete list

Stacey, Joyce, Elizabeth, Ray, Rod, Lloyd, Laura, Devon, Marvyn, Marcin, Chris V, Darrell, Jen, Jess B, Irene, Don, Kyle, Emily, Claire, Pete

Are some people that have profoundly influenced who I am today. I just want to say thank you to all of you.

Driven to distraction

So that I don't have to deal with what's going on in my head

Sleep

Sleep is necessary but often abused.

You know when you've had enough, you know when you should be up.

Your mind let's you know.

It's time to get up, it's time to stop escaping.

Like Z said, Write when inspired; rest when tired."